Since I know that many of you have been praying for Barb's cousin's Chuck's family and our recent trip to NJ for his funeral, I just wanted to give you an update on how it all went...
It was an amazing experience (if a funeral can be called amazing). Looking back I remember at my own dad's funeral there was a steady stream of visitors during the viewing and I was impressed by how many people he had touched. Well, Chuck's funeral was an even larger display of just how many people 1 person can touch in this world. There were between 1200-1400 people during the 2 viewing times on Thursday (both of which went 1-1/2 hours longer than scheduled). It was a steady stream of friends, family, students, fellow musicians, etc. and the line wrapped half way around the building and took 45 min. to get through.
During all of the viewing some good friends of Chuck played softly in the room next door (old jazz standards, hymns, etc.). The keyboardist is 1st chair for the "Lion King" on Broadway and had arranged for time off to be there for Chuck's family. After the funeral these guys even came to the dinner at the neighbor's house and played for the family/friends gathered there.
The funeral itself was packed and the above mentioned musicians were joined by Chuck's college bass teacher, who played Chuck's bass parts with the band before/after the service. Chuck was remembered by everyone from his minister (who spoke of his great faith) to his childhood friend (who said that Chuck always made you feel like you were the most important person on Earth when he was with you). There were members of his first band (at age 13!) to the county Board of Education director (who talked about how Chuck had found the energy to lay out every lesson plan and detail to cover his classes after he became to ill to teach anymore). Barb's brother David even got up and spoke about how Chuck had been right there by his side during David's wedding, which took place only 2 days after David had been attacked by a tiger while working at Busch Gardens. David knew that he could depend on Chuck during even the roughest of times.
Chuck was a high school band director and he also worked at 3 other schools so the number of former students, etc. was incredible. I did feel bad for several of the kids as it was obvious this was their first time dealing with the death of someone close to them.
At the funeral there was an amazing story told by a former student who said that Chuck "put my first saxophone in my hands in fourth grade." He went on to tell how Chuck had been his band director in high school, had helped him prep for his college entrance exams, and mentored him over the years as he developed as a musician. Chuck had even written him out of school a couple of times so that he could go with Chuck to a gig. He then said that the biggest honor he could have received was after college when Chuck called him to play some gigs when they needed a sax player. The student had become an equal to his mentor musically.
Chuck was also a gigging musician with singer Michael Amante, conductor Herb Bernstein, etc. At the funeral Michael sang "God and God Alone" and said that he normally never lets anybody tell him what to sing but had made an exception by letting Chuck's 13 y/o daughter pick that song. It fit perfectly, but what was even more amazing was that the sound track Michael sang to was one that featured Chuck playing bass. It was ironic to be able to hear Chuck playing one more time (at his own funeral). After the song was over, Michael perfectly captured Chuck's easy going spirit when he picked up Chuck's mom (Aunt Marge, who is all of about 100 lbs) and gave her a big hug and then turned to us and said "He isn't gone, he's just taking five."
So you can see that it was an amazing experience. Barb's folks, both brothers and her sister in-law all flew up with her, Jacob and me (an adventure in itself!). It was nice to see lots of family, many of whom we hadn't seen in years. Of course, it always hurts that these kind of "reunions" tend to only happen at funerals or some other such event. So my prayer for all of you is that you each take the time to spend it with the ones you love before they are gone. We were all expecting Chuck to find a donor, get the lung transplant and be back playing music for years to come. Sometimes God has other plans, so make the most of the time you've got.
Thank you for your prayers throughout all of this. They have been very much appreciated by all of Barb's family. A final prayer request is for Chuck's 2 kids (daughter 13, son 17), who will have a lot to deal with having lost their father.